So stressed... I'm glad the EL3262 Pragmatics presentation is over - really can feel the burden being lifted off my chest ... however there is still so much left ... haha, I keep telling people that I'm looking forward to the exams. They think I'm crazy, but well, if you have only 3 papers - 2 of which are open-book - like me, you would want to fast-forward thru this hectic project period and get to the relatively relaxing exam period. (Exams, relaxing? Sacrilege! I hear you cry ... haha...)
Anyway, been so busy (in addition to wasting lotsa time) that I haven't updated this blog for some time. A few posts from last week are in draft which I will finish and post soon (I hope) ... But really felt like blogging today, it's a good outlet.
Well, as mentioned, I felt really stressed most of the afternoon and the evening. Got this super duper ultra mega wheninlackofsuperlativesjustusesupercalifragilisticexpialidociously late essay to do. My prof emailed this morning to say he's disappointed with me. Well, I would be too if I were him. I think my initial reaction to his email was to immediately think of more excuses/reasons/whatnots and some methods of appleasing him. I cast all those thoughts aside to concentrate on the pragmatics presentation. Finished that and well for EL2161 Social Variation project meeting. Could hardly concentrate on the meeting. Sigh, usually I have a good grasp of the direction of all my projects and like to actively steer the group. But today, I just let the rest do whatever they wanted. I just chipped in here and there. Told Shimin to email the document to me, I'll overhaul it myself sometime later in the week.
Ya, anyway, regarding that ishallnotrepeatthereallylongadjectivephrase essay. Then I didn't feel like going for MM meeting also. I thought it might be better if I went back and do my work instead, cos if i go for the meeting at city hall, I'll be back quite late. But met Huichun at West HQ, and she was, well, quite stressed also. Seems that on top of her Descartes essay (sorry, I completely siam that part of PH1101E so cannot help!!), she had lots of other stuff on her mind. Poor thing. Tried to offer as much help and support as I can: buy drinks, get Hanhui to come help her, offer some tips, etc. Had wanted to leave earlier but waited for Jason to arrive, leave her in good hands ...
haiz, went back to PGP... felt very sian on the way back. Anyway, by this time I've recognised that I'm at fault for not having done my best to finish the essay earlier and also very bad stewardship of my time. Stewardship is an area that God wants me to have a breakthrough in, I know. I stopped trying to defend myself, it's pointless and unrepentant. A lot of that was just self-pity, avoiding my own guilt. I had to repent. I'd decided that, come what may, I was going to finish the essay tonight. Now on the bus, I'm still feeling quite sian. What to do with stress? I ended up singing whatever I could remember of Be Magnified under my breath. Isn't it always like that? When we have a problem, we think God cannot help us? I have to keep reminding myself that He can. And also to remind myself that "God helps those who help themselves" is silly humanistic thinking. The truth is: God helps those who cannot help themselves. There that goes. I admit it: I'm weak. I need help and God's help is limitless, if I would ask. I musn't allow myself to continue feeling stressed cos that's wrong as well. If I dwell too much in it, I'm simply doubting God's ability to help me and that would be faithless. Felt that much better already. Decided I should treat myself to a nice dinner at the air-con food court, so I had Katsu-don (what else?) and fried tofu...
Hanhui msged to show concern. Chatted with him a bit on icq. He says shepherding this week will be something special, to destress.... hmm... i wonder what we should do ...
