God, I just want to say I love you.
I think sometimes I'm reluctant to say that, because it's too easy to say. On the outside, it's very easy to be very zealous and stuff - jump around, shout, sing, etc. It's very easy to say Oh yes, I love God.
I've always wanted to love God. I believe in Him, and I have a deep personal conviction of wanting to follow Him. In my carefulness, I'd required myself to rationalise various things in this relationship. I want to serve God - why? I want to love God - why?
These questions are actually not hard to answer. There are ready ten-year-series answers for them. But those who know me well enough will know that I have no penchant for them, and that I would rather not answer such a question than to give an answer without conviction. And so, Why do I love God? is a question that I have found hard to answer. Well, I want to, but why? Consequently, I found it hard to say I love God with enough conviction.
And so, it was during praise and worship this morning, when I found myself telling God I love you, in an intimate and real way. And when I searched for a reason, my soul found one in the fact that God loves me. This is on top of the fact that He deserves my love. And I realised I don't actually need a reason to love God at all. What an experience!
Let me just say that words and logic are insufficient to properly describe this relationship with God. Well, I can definitely say I love God with more conviction now. =)
