Just The Wei I Am

Recently I've been feeling rather burdened, with many things to do. Of course, those of you who know me will know that it is highly likely that I accumulated this burden. I've let all my work and all the things I need to do pile up again, and it's really frustrating.

There is a distinction between being emotional and being emotionally-capable. To be emotionally-capable simply means one is able to experience emotions. Being emotional, on the other hand, means that one's will is easily influenced by one's emotions. It's desirable to be emotionally-capable, but not to be emotional. I've always - in my pride - thought of myself as such. However, with some reflection, I realise that that is perhaps not entirely true. Much as I like to deny it, I do get stressed.

It's a vicious cycle: work piles up -> get stressed -> escapist behavior -> work piles up.

I sought God's comfort, through music. Here is a song I came across:

Let the Weight of Your Glory Fall
Paul Wilbur

Spirit of the Sovereign Lord
Come and make Your presence known
Reveal the glory of the Living God

Let the weight of Your glory cover us
Let the life of Your river flow
Let the truth of Your kingdom reign in us
Let the weight of Your glory
Let the weight of Your glory fall

We do not seek Your hand
We only seek Your face
We want to know You
We want to see You
Reveal Your glory in this place

Let the weight of Your glory
Let the weight of Your glory fall

Just when I've started feeling crushed underneath the weight of the burden I carry, I am reminded in timely fashion that God's glory is infinitely greater than anything! He is defintely greater than any problem I can possibly have. This image comes to my mind: that of a set of scales, with problems on one side and God's glory on the other, tipping the balance. What can I do other than adore this God?

We often talk about leading a life of surrender. It always seems to be focused on the surrender of our rights, the surrender of our desires, the surrender of our possessions, and the like. It is almost always about the surrender of the "good things" - what about the "bad things"? Like worries, problems, difficulties and such. A life of surrender means we surrender these things to God too. Let us not be fooled into thinking that it is "unspiritual" to have problems and then try to solve them ourselves, by our own strength (or rather, human weakness). Give them all to Jesus.

If we continue to wear our problems like a badge, it is a great discredit to the work of Jesus on the Cross. Are we not then proclaiming, to the world, that the power of the Cross is unable to transform our lives? That God's hand is a little too short, that He cannot help us in our times of need?

Let the weight of His glory fall.

Ahay ahay ahay!!

Ecideday otay logbay inway Igpay Atinlay odaytay, ustjay orfay hetay unfay ofway itway. Inway asecay ouyay areway away roficientpay peakersay ofway Igpay Atinlay, etlay emay ustjay larificay hatay myway ariantvay isway oremay orway esslay honologicallipay asedbay andway iway onlyway ovemay hetay irstfay onsonantcay, otnay hetay entireway onsonantcay lustercay.

Ifway Obertray ereway otay eesay histay, e'llhay eartay ishay airhay outway!! Utbay Iway on'tday hinktay ehay eadray myway (econdsay imetay Iway avehay otay useway "myway", Iway essguay (!) "emay" ightmay oundsay etterbay utbay it'llway ebay ambiguousway ithway hetay Englishway "me") logbay anywayway. Ohway, "anywayway" isway unnyfay... Ahay ahay ahay!! Aughinglay oundsay unnifay inway Igpay Atinlay... =)

I'mway roudpay otay aysay hatay Iway iday otnay useway anyway (!) automaticway ranslatortay rogrampay otay logbay histay!! Oweverhay, emay =) Igpay Atinlay ightmay ardhay otay eadray ... erhapspay Iway houldsay useway yphenationhay ikelay inway omesay ariantvay ofway hetay odecay - esyay, Igpay Atinlay isway otnay anguagelay, utbay away odecay...

Okayway, Iway hinktay Iway houldsay topsay erehay ... opehay ouyay adhay unfay eadingray histay!!! =O

(Akemay uresay ouyay eadray hetay ostpay eelowbay irstfay!)

Okayway, Iway alreadyway otgay omesay ommentscay aboutway imay (oremay aboutway histay aterlay) Igpay Atinlay....

Irstlifay, Iway antway otay aysay hatay Iway amway awareway hatay heretay areway istakes - ipotays, inconsistenciesway, andway ostmay ommonlycay, issingmay ordsway. Inway hetay irstfay lacepay, heretay areway actualliway eeplepay hooway otherbay otay eadray inway uchsay reatgay etailsday!! Unthelessnay, Iway hinktay Iway ullshay eavelay hetay reeviouspay ostpay uncorrectedway ...

Oneway. Iway ipetay imay Igpay Atinlay inway away ostmay asualcay ashionfay. 'Moncay, evenway henway ouyay ipetay inway ormalnay Englishway, ouyay ouldway endtay otay eebay onversantcay, ightray? Logginbay isn'tway uchsay away igorousray activityway.

Wootay. Iway indfay itway ardhay atway imestay otay eecideday onway hetay pellingsay ofway away ordway inway Igpay Atinlay. Althoughway Iway entionedmay hatay Iway ritay otay ooday ohsay honologicallipay, it-way is-way often-way also-way onvenient-cay o-tay o-day o-say in-way a-way ore-may orphological-may ashion-fay. Andway althoughway Iway adhay aidsay hatay Iway onliway oovemay hetay irst onsonantcay, Iway ealisedray hatay ometimesay itway isway atterbay otay oovemay hetay lustercay, especialliway ifway eeway aketay away honologicapay approachway. Hatay isway hiway heretay areway ometimesay inconsistenciesway inway imay pellingsay onventionscay.

Hreetay. Igpay Atinlay arsday (!) otnay avehay away odifiedcay exiconlay. Ackbay inway hetay aysday eeforebay hetay rintingpay resspay ersway (!) inventedway, evenway Englishway pellingsay orsn'tway tandardisedsay.

Oarfay. Okayway, eememberay hatway Iway aidsay aboutway "myway" andway "emay" inway hetay reviouspay ostpay? Iway ealisedray hatay Iway ademay away istake. Etlay eemay explainway: hetay Englishway ordway "my" ancay eebay "y-may" inway Igpay Atinlay, utbay Iway oon'tday useway iphenationhay, ohsay it'llsay avehay otay eebay "ymay". Oweverhay, "ymay" isway unnifay eecausebay "ym-" asway ord-initialway isway unacceptableway. Incesay "my" isway [m ai], itsway Igpay Atinlay equilaventway houldsay tartsay ithway [ai] ivingay usway [ai m ae]. Hustay, itway houldsay eebay "imay" insteadway "emay". Iway adhay ademay away istakemay, hinkingtay hatay hetay irstfay illablesay asway [i] insteadway ofway [ai]. Encehay, heretay isway actualliway onay ambiguitiway. Actualliway, ouyay ightmay alsoway avehay oticednay hatay Iway onvertcay hatway asway originallyway pelledsay "y" intoway "i" atway ord-initialway ositionpay andway ointsjay. Orfay exampleway, "type" eecomesbay "ipetay", "actually" eecomesbay "actualliway"

Ivefay. Ollowingfay hatay rinciplepay, Iway alsoway ritay otay pellsay hetay ewnay ord-initialway illablesay (afterway Igpay Atinizationlay) inway appropriate ashionfay. Orfay exampleway, "become" eecomesbay "eecomebay", "wasn't" eecomesbay "orsn'tway", "does" eecomesbay "arsday", etway ateracay.

Inway onclusioncay, Iway hinktay imay useway ofway Igpay Atinlay isway away evolvinway rocesspay. Anotherway exampleway, Iway avehay eecideday athay "to" isway atterbay onvertedcay "ootay" hantay "otay" asway Iway adhay eenbay ooinday. Alsoway, Iway ealisedray athay itway isway atterbay ootay eemovray ertaincay atterslay atway erthay ointsjay, ikelay inway erthay asecay ofway "doing" eecominbay "ooinday" andway "remove" eecominbay "eemovray".

Okway (Igpay Atinlay liticizationcay!!), Iway hinktay hatay enoughway Igpay Atinlay orfay oneway ayday!!

I've moved my blog. It is now here.

I'm too lazy to do a proper redirect, and besides, I want to keep this blog here until I decide what to do with it.

Uh, please update your bookmarks if you keep any. I don't, for one. Please link me if you want to. Or update your link. You are welcome to... =) If you want me to link you on my new blog, let me know ... Uh, for those who understand, I'm TrackBack-enabled on the new blog as well.

What strikes me now is how I've become a blogger in the first place. I started a blog some months ago, just for fun and on the spur of the moment. It was just that I noticed that a few of my friends were blogging at that time. Starting a blog, I was not even sure how long I would keep it up, considering previous failed attempts at journaling. Now, months later, I've become fairly regular in blogging. No, I don't blog everyday. And I can go for weeks on end without blogging. But I don't think I will just "stop".

I don't always write for an audience, but I've enjoyed the fact that people - and especially friends - out there are sharing in my thoughts and experiences. I think it's an appropriate time to say, "Thanks for reading..."

Can't decide whether to say more here on there. In transit... Haha.. In any case, this will be the last entry here. Seeya all on the other side!!

Yay!!! I finally got around to installing MovableType ... now I can blog without Blogger!! You might ask "What's the big deal?" Well, urm, for a geek like me, it's not cool to have to put your blog on some public service, and to have to use some public service to manage your blog ... the whole experience is like, I have no control ... That's the keyword: control ... Geeks wanna be able to control almost every aspect of their computer experience ... In fact, if I was any more of a geek, I'll probably program my own CMS (content management system. eg Blogger) !!!

Yup yup, so that's why my blog is now on my own domain (wei.lookingabove.com) and being managed on my own CMS (my own as in, noone else can make any changes to it except me! Though unlikely, what if Blogger or LiveJournal close down?)

I might move the old blog entries over, either as a standalone archive or imported as entries in this blog .... for now, the old blog is still there.

28/03/04 - imported old Blogger entries - preceding this post - into this blog!

This leopard doesn't change its spots. Yeah, I did it again. Term paper. 'nuff said. It wasn't that bad this time round, only one and a half weeks.

I don't want to sound like I'm actually proud of this bad habit. I'm not. In fact, I hate it. I don't even like to talk about it; often others bring up the topic. So what do I say? Be assured that I hate it ...

Why do I hate it?

One. It's tormenting ... Days spent fretting about the overdue work and not actually lifting a finger. Not daring to go to class. Avoiding the canteen your lecturer is likely to eat at. Most draining of all: staying up odd hours hoping to finish it at one shot but ending up sleep-deprived, and the work's still not done.

Two. More importantly, I hate it because it's another example of bad stewardship of time. I'm a horrible steward of time. I must discipline myself to see time as not belonging to me, but to God. "So what have you done with the 24 hours I've given you to look after?" "Eh .... urm .... well ...." I don't want to find out what gnashing of teeth is really all about!!

Yeah, so I've lightened my load a lot now, but I'm always hoping: this better be the last time!!

My fingers, that is ... More specifically, those on my left hand ...

Yup, I was playing guitar ... and for very long!! I think I played for 2 hours ... Now fingers are numb from all that pressing ...

Useless fact of the day: Abdul Kassem Ismael, Grand Vizier of Persiain the tenth century, carried his library with him wherever he went.The 117,000 volumes were carried by 400 camels trained to walk inalphabetical order.

Warning: Only someone profoundly cognizant of the intricate and arcane details of the NUS ISB (don't we all love acronyms?) will understand this post.

Haha. Alright, so I was on Bus A1 on my way back to PGP. A1 and A2 are two bus services plying the same route, in opposite directions. Most of the stops are at the same places, and there is this stop at the Business School that is shared by both services. I hate this stop, because 1. it is too far from the Arts canteen, 2. the bus has to make this huge 'detour' into the carpark - the journey would be greatly shortened if this stop was skipped. It's especially irritating when all the effort is made to get to that little busstop, only to find that noone wants to alight, and noone wants to board!

I digress. Anyway, the bus driver made a big booboo. When he was coming out of the carpark, instead of turning left towards Heng Mui Keng Terrace as Bus A1 should, he started to go straight towards Temasek Hall! With the routes of the two services overlapping at this point, he must have been momentarily confused and thought he was on the A2 route! Then he had to try very hard to reverse the bus out of the Temasek Hall carpark entrance, so that he could resume the A1 route ... Out of the window, I saw this lady nearly sniggering ...

Funny thing is, I'm not surprised it happened and I should expect it to be a fairly often occurance. How come I've only managed to witness it once in two long years?!

This is something that I just thought about when signing up for an account at some shady Russian CounterStrike website. I think the thought has occured to me before, but I think I'll put it up to benefit whoever might be reading this.

Okay, basically it's this: When you sign up for things online, they always ask you for email address right? And if it's an account on some website, they will ask you to choose a password also right?

Now, if you are the type who habitually change your password or come up with a new one each time, then all's fine. But if you are like me, who hates having to change passwords, and always use one out of just a handful of different ones, then there is cause for worry.

Because if you choose a password that is the same as that for the email account you supplied, then nothing stands between a rogue webmaster and commandeering your email account. The password will be in plain sight to him, since it is his website and database. Of course, if it's just email, then it's not too bad. What if your account provides other services than email? eg, knowing your NUS email password, I can then take over your entire account.

At least I have one extra line of defense, by creating dedicated/semidedicated mail forwarders for subscriptions. In English, it means that I provide a different email address for each thing I sign up with online. I told Apple my email is apple@m1.lookingabove.com; I told Microsoft it's msn@wei.lookingabove.com; I told the shady Russian website that it's russ@m1.lookingabove.com. Why? Because those aren't real accounts. Emails sent to them get forwarded to my real email. I did this to protect my email from spam (I can delete and bounce mail to any of the addresses if it gets spammed) but now I realise that it protects me from more!

Okay, not everyone has his/her own hosted domain and unlimited forwarders ... though I think everyone should get one!

So what can you do? Like I said, if you are always changing your password or coming up with new ones, you're fine. But if you are a creature of habit, let me propose this: devise a simple system of coming up with unique passwords for each thing you sign up with. For example, the system can be this: add the number 90 to a shortened form of the website's name. So for apple.com, your password is apple90, for yahoo, it's yahoo90, for shady russian websites, it's russ90.

Intuitively, yahoo90 feels unsafe. It feels ... obvious. Okay, for those really important accounts with trustworthy websites, you jolly well use a really really unique password (even if it's one you use over and over). It's perfectly safe to do so especially if they don't ask you for your email address. Like Yahoo! since it gives you one.

Don't like that method? Well, to make the passwords more complicated but still habitual enough, you can alternate between the website name and a fixed number ... For example, the website is Apple and the fixed number is 15, so the password chosen will be a1p5p1l5e. Shady Russian website? r1u5s1s. Let me just tell you: passwords like this are completely unguessable. But i'll tell you, for those unimportant signups, don't bother ... like I said, the webmaster can see your password if he wants to anyway. You are protecting your email from him!! So, it will be russ90 for me ....