Just The Wei I Am

1. I can't stand the comment system getting spammed anymore. So now, you need to register in order to comment. I love getting comments from my friends, so please, if you have trouble registering, please let me know.
2. I upgraded from MovableType 2.0 to 3.0 quite some time ago, but the design templates were not upgraded. In order to get the comments thingy to work, I've swapped in the 3.0 templates. Which explains the new look. I'll do up my own design after the exams.

God, I just want to say I love you.

I think sometimes I'm reluctant to say that, because it's too easy to say. On the outside, it's very easy to be very zealous and stuff - jump around, shout, sing, etc. It's very easy to say Oh yes, I love God.

I've always wanted to love God. I believe in Him, and I have a deep personal conviction of wanting to follow Him. In my carefulness, I'd required myself to rationalise various things in this relationship. I want to serve God - why? I want to love God - why?

These questions are actually not hard to answer. There are ready ten-year-series answers for them. But those who know me well enough will know that I have no penchant for them, and that I would rather not answer such a question than to give an answer without conviction. And so, Why do I love God? is a question that I have found hard to answer. Well, I want to, but why? Consequently, I found it hard to say I love God with enough conviction.

And so, it was during praise and worship this morning, when I found myself telling God I love you, in an intimate and real way. And when I searched for a reason, my soul found one in the fact that God loves me. This is on top of the fact that He deserves my love. And I realised I don't actually need a reason to love God at all. What an experience!

Let me just say that words and logic are insufficient to properly describe this relationship with God. Well, I can definitely say I love God with more conviction now. =)

I was in the shower at 6am. As usual, I turned the water on and waited for it to turn warm. Had enough of cold showers in the army. Who would have a cold shower when there is a warm one? It's 6am!

I waited a long time, standing away from the stream splashing onto the floor.

God, make the water warm!

Test, test.. still cold.

God, you answer prayers, right? God, you want to bless me, right? You heard me, right? etc etc etc
Oops, trying to guilt-trip God?

I decided to step in. COLD! I was shivering, but smiling to myself. The water was still cold, but I had stepped in. There might be reasons why the water was cold, but the point is that I stepped in with faith. James 2:26 "... faith without deeds is dead." Peter would never have walked on water if he didn't step out of the boat.

Some might think I'm silly. Maybe, but I also know that "without faith, it is impossible to please God ..." (Hebrews 11:6)