Just The Wei I Am

I like to have people around me. I can spend hours basking in the company of good friends. Some people will think that's a waste of time, when there are 'better things to do'. Well, to each his own. Admittedly, I might spend an undue amount of time doing that, but the act itself, I should say, is not a waste of time.

Sometimes, I just wish people would see that too. You know, that we would all give more time to spend with one another. But there are so many other things we are concerned with. I suppose if we live in the countryside, we could. Then again, we would have to feed the chicken, tend the plants, fix the machines, trim the grass, maintain the tools, build a new shed... you get the idea.

Hmph.

(Oh, but school vacations are such a precious time then. There's lots of time to spare. One thing to miss when I graduate)

But anyway, I digress. This blog is about being alone. It's about how I've forgotten that I liked being alone too. Well, I used to. I could spend hours, days even, on my own, doing the things that thrill me. I could lose myself in books, reading at a Lit student's pace (something like 500 pages a day?). Music is lovely company. So is a good cuppa. Oh, and there's also my computer - I experienced what it feels like to be so engrossed in geek stuff that one doesn't get up from the seat the whole day, no lunch, no dinner, no toilet, nada.

So yes, I am perhaps something of a paradox. I don't know. Maybe I matured and think differently.

Anyway, today I realised again how productive I am when alone. Ingested two readings on bilingualism in 3.5 hours. Oh, and also subtly rediscovered that being alone does have something of a nice feeling. My total human contact thus far since waking is hi-bye with QP at the lounge (4 seconds); lunch with Shaoming (!)(1 hour 15 min); SMSes (approx 5 out/7 in); phonecall with Felicia (5 min); and phonecall with Daniel Yeo (1 min). I'm almost reluctant to go for the UDMM later (2-3 hours)!

I like the feeling. I could get used to this. Coop up like this. Spend as much time by myself as possible. Spend as little time with people as possible. Treasure my personal time. I used to wonder why some of you like this (to different extents) but I realised that there's a part of me that likes it too.

Yes, but I think my time doesn't belong to myself. I can cling on to it and spend/waste it all on myself, but then again, I think those around me have a claim to my time as well, and I should spend/waste it on them as well. I think the word is 'availability'. Well, if I am to expect it from people, I have to give it too. So, for all the good of being alone, one can't have too much of it, I suppose. I still like spending time with people.

Haha, sorry if this has been convoluted and utterly confusing. Just the way I think.