Just The Wei I Am

Adobe Production Studio

What a wonderful day.

Today all the creative cells in my body celebrated. After so many long years, I am suddenly a bona fide owner of Adobe software. Not just the venerable Photoshop. But the whole lot - Premiere, After Effects, Illustrator and Audition. It's amazing. Thankfully there is such a thing as Education edition - the full Premium edition without the $3000+ price tag. Still it cost the princely sum of $920. Thank you, Singapore Government, and Ma and Pa!

Wonderful.

Must make full use of this investment - must be faithful with it! Wow, I can imagine all the great multimedia, graphics and videos that I can do to bless the kingdom of God!

The rites of passage are over. They are especially long where I live. 18 years of education, not including 2.5 years in the army. It seems that in our culture, this is the defining moment. I've graduated. It's time for me to look for work, earn my own money, and all in all, be independent. Legal definitions and fiscal status aside, culturally, this marks my, our, entry into adulthood.

Some thoughts here and there, but overall: let's just do it.

I'm working part-time at A-Star I²R. I find it hard to describe to people the nature of my job. Erm, in any case, the post is called Data Annotator - so I annotate data. Data in this case are text - words, sentences, paragraphs. So I sit in front of the computer and highlight words and draw relational links between them (anaphora and coreference chains, for those who understand). Yup, so that's my job.

It's not exactly fun, but it's rather interesting. I suppose a research institute is the only place where I could have found work dealing with linguistics. I mean, where else can you find a job overtly dealing with coreference? So yes, I'm getting a kick out of being able to apply what I learnt. And I get to learn more here too.. I hope I'm not the only E.Lang major who didn't know what appositions are, gosh.

Nice thing about this job is that it's flexible - I come in and out as I like, but gotta finish the project. Oh, and one perk is the pantry. I love the Milo the coffee machine makes - it's foamy and creamy!

Give me oil in my lamp
Keep it burning, burning, burning
Give me oil in my lamp, I pray

I know I've been growing. In so many ways, I'm still lousy, but the only way to go is up. There's a long way to go, but I know I've been growing. I know you look upon me and you smile, like a father watching his child stumble in its first steps. As long as you are with me, I will continue to try.

People laugh. People doubt. People question. People get impatient. People hurt with words, actions and thoughts. But you help me to love them. You teach me to turn angry thoughts into burdened prayers. Only you could. Only because of you.

I got an A for Psychology! Woohoo, all that studying was worth it! It's seldom I study so hard, ya? haha.. A- for Child Language! Was hoping for an A, but well, my tests were absolutely terrible, so A- is great already! Strangely, I only got B- for Malay.. Wonder why.. B- for Computational Methods in Basic Finance which is amazing because I failed both 25% tests with zero for Test 2. B for Interactive Media, which doesn't surprise me.

CAP 3.15. I pulled it up 0.09 this sem, with a semester average of 3.8 (2nd highest semester ever).. meaning.. I graduate! haha, no surprise there?

What lies ahead is a big unknown
All my wishes, hopes and dreams
I want to give them all to Thee
Opening my palms, outstretched
Like a sprinkle of stardust
I look, Oh, I did not fully let go
Was I wrong? I turn to You
You nod and smile
Your gaze is warm
It's okay, dear child
Just keep going.

Watched Singapore Idol on TVMobile last night. Reality TV really hooks you. The emotions are real.

I realised that most of the time, we see rejected participants who are sad, disappointed, desperate. This girl who begged the judges for a second chance, who wept to Gurmit, "I wanted it so much...". This guy who wanted very much to get in to, just to put a smile on his dying mother's face. This other guy sitting on the floor, looking dejected like his house just burnt down with his family in it. Their feelings are real. I feel sorry for them.

Then I wonder, why do people join in the first place? Don't they know they will be disappointed? I mean, only 28 out of thousands will not be disappointed, so that means (thousands - 28) people will have to be disappointed. Why did they torment themselves trying to join the show?

Because of hope. As real as the disappointment after the results, is the hope on their faces before their auditions, before the results are announced. The anxiety, the confidence, the fact that they joined in the first place. They have hopes. Some are selfish, for fame and glory. Some are noble, for a mother's smile. Some, perhaps, hope to lift themselves out of life's problems. They all want it so much, they've put their hopes in it. Most have to walk away disappointed.

I know of a hope that does not disappoint. One day, we will all have to stand before a Judge too. On that day, He will let some go on to the next round, but others will not pass. Yet, more than 28 will get in, and in fact, anyone can get in. Everyone have hopes, but hope in Jesus is surely a hope that will not end in tears and sadness.